mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
