In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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