Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
