At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
