my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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