I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
