PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
