I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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