As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
