I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
