I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's blow job season.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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