last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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