me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
