So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
