im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
