Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
