Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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