he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
