u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
