He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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