I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
