My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
