dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
