Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize