Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
