I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
