So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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