Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
