I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
