Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
