do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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