some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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