That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
