i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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