well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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