i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
