btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
