I am in a vortex of obligation.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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