im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
