I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
