you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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