and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
