one two three fourrrrnication!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
