this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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