I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
