i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
