I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
