bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
