2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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