dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
