I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
