Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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