yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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