out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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