a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
