I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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